Reproduction is defined as the process by which a new organism is produced. I thought this was a befitting topic since the older I get, the more I find myself reflecting as I approach EVERY. SINGLE. BIRTHDAY!! I feel like every few years (and everyday really), I find myself morphing, or even shedding my old skin, as a snake does, into a new woman. I feel that every day I learn more and more about who I am. I remember always being a “big girl” for as long as I can remember. I was almost always the tall plus sized girl. I was okay with it for the most part.
But then I went to middle school and then high school. I was joked on and talked about and with each passing day, month, and year, my self-esteem took a hit. I was raised in a loving home where my mom and dad always told me that I was a beautiful princess and that they loved me, but it did not matter to me. I let my classmates and society get into my head. I thought that my size was ugly and that I could never be like other girls because I was plus size. I would never wear my arms out because I HATED my rolls and stretch marks. I suffered with my self-esteem for many years and I never really talked about it but I knew that my mom could tell. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I decided not to care what other people and society said that I should look like. This was just one of the many layers of skin that I shed.
My reproduction also birthed a new closet to go along with my new confidence. I was always so scared of how I would look in certain types of clothing or what people would say but I reached a point of not caring. I shed another layer of skin and a new Erica was reproduced. The third reproduction over the past 5 years (but especially the last 1-3 years) has been life. I have learned that reproduction can not only come from good moments but from the bad moments as well. I have felt like I have taken so many losses from friendships ending to losing loved ones or just disappointment. I have learned that life is short and people come and go. I have learned that it is okay to cry and feel. I have learned that it is okay to be selfish (to an extent), because no one cares more about you and can live your life better than you can. Today, on my 27th birthday, I am truly grateful for life and reproduction! I entered this earth through the reproduction process and every day I strive to reproduce myself by becoming a better, all around person!
Cheers to another trip around the sun (since that is the only trip I will be taking this year 😩🙄)! Enjoy the reproduction process…
The Chic Chemist 🎂